Movie Make-out

Last Friday, Hollywood Reporter printed a pretty macabre story which said that even though all the major studios are falling over themselves to be the ones to distribute the last movie for which Heath Ledger shot film — that’s The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, remember? — they’re reluctant to do so because it’s a film by Terry Gilliam, and he hasn’t necessarily been the best box office bet.

This kind of thinking makes me a little sick. Yes, Gilliam can be difficult, but it was the movie industry that made him so by ruining the first important movie he made by not trusting in his vision. His movies are strange and aren’t necessarily for everyone, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Parnassus is a movie that wanted to be made, because three heavyweight actors (Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law) agreed to appear in the movie, continue Ledger’s role, and donate their salaries to his estate, just so his performance wouldn’t wind up in some film vault somewhere, and Depp is certainly aware of the problems that can happen with a Gilliam production.

My words to studio executives is this: You probably make $20 million a month picking your nose or scratching your armpits. Putting up the money to distribute this film should be a piece of cake if you don’t treat it like a major studio movie and go ape-wild on marketing stunts that make no sense. Movie-going audiences these days can be smart, and the slavering Heath Ledger fangirls are armed with the Internet. They can read up on Gilliam’s weirdness on blogs like this one, and won’t be disappointed like they may have been with The Brothers Grimm. Their minds may even be expanded just a little bit, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing considering that one of Gilliam’s major themes is a rejection of conformity.

Just release this movie, okay?

Related Posts: Trio to complete Ledger’s role Doctor Parnassus…? (updated again: maybe)

Even with the success of Michael Bay’s Transformers movie and the buzz about its sequel, Variety reported on Sunday that New Regency has put their Voltron movie into “turnaround” which according to the IMDB’s glossary (Ctrl-F is your friend) means that it’s not likely to be made unless they can snatch up a director and some hot acting talent. However, the trade publication article reads like this is a done deal and that all producers Mark Gordon (10,000 B.C.) and Jordan Wynn have to do is just to pick from its many suitors for the project. Personally speaking, I don’t think this bodes well.

Listen, I loved “Voltron” as a kid, and wanted to drive the blue lion because it was driven by a girl, and there weren’t many kick-ass female characters back then. At least “G.I. Joe” had three of them, you know? But I think one of the reasons why it’s going to be more difficult for this movie to get anywhere is that despite it selling well on DVD, that’s about the limit of its audience. People went to see Transformers because the franchise had more time and more opportunities to gain a foothold in the American pop culture psyche due to the fact that they just kept making the show, and the creators of “Voltron” did not do the same with its property. I need only to point at Speed Racer’s total worldwide gross of $88,645,114 versus its production cost of $120 million to hammer the nail into the coffin that is my point, and say no more.

New York Guild Says to SAG Re: Ongoing Stalemate: “Fuggedaboutit”
Also on Sunday, the regional board for New York City’s screen actors told the national union leaders that it needs to seek out more meaningful steps towards a resolution of the contract terms before August 25 or bring in a federal negotiator, as reported by the Hollywood Reporter but mentioned nowhere on the SAG Watchdog site and United Hollywood 2.0 returns a 404 error as of press time. This, and other news coverage found online only serves to highlight what a empathetic divide in the public’s eye there is between these negotiations and the WGA negotiations earlier this year.

The Stupidest Viral Movie Marketing Ploy in the World…Or is It?
It’s only because I was recently caught in a “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” feedback loop that I happened to see the hard-sell trailers for The Rocker, which stars comedic actor Rainn Wilson (”The Office”) as a washed-up never-been who tries to relive his ’80s rock band dreams by co-opting his nephew’s teenage band. The commercial’s voiceover narration proclaims it to be the “hit sleeper of the summer” and yet it’s never popped up on my radar.

Since the movie opens on Wednesday, though, they’re pulling out all the stops to get butts in the theater seats, because six days ago, Wilson said on “Office” co-star Jenna Fischman’s MySpace blog that he had kidnapped her, bound her, placed her in his trunk, and will not let her go until the movie grosses $18.7 million. Since then, he — or the clever people in Fox’s marketing department — have started up their own blog called Free Jenna Now! where he posts shorts video clips of Fischman’s kidnapping experience and has even interviewed Guns ‘N’ Roses guitarist Slash (who is credited in that video clip as Maya Angelou).

Part of me wants the movie to tank, just so I can see how they’ll backpedal out of the stunt, and because I am a mean, mean person.

Simon Pegg has announced on his MySpace blog, Peggster.net, that Superbad director Greg Mottola is getting the honor of being the first person other than Edgar Wright to boss around the greatest comedy duo of all time (okay, maybe not, but they’re awesome) — Pegg and Nick Frost — who have previously been seen in Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and the British sitcom Spaced. The new project, co-written by best buds and ex-roomates Pegg and Frost, is called Paul, an American road movie about two British comic book nerds. Sold.

Back in May, the MTV Movie Blog broke the news about Paul and asked him if we could expect the same dynamic between Pegg and Frost from Hot Fuzz in the new film (which, at the time, had no director attached). Pegg apparently laughed and replied, “No, it’s different actually. I’m the bitch in this one.”

He also announced that he was, unfortunately, unable to work out some scheduling problems and will not be appearing in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards. (He had previously been reported as being “in talks” for a role. See? “In talks” is not final.)

Pegg wrote, “We really tried to make it work but in the end, it just was not possible without severe ramifications elsewhere.… I’m trying to remain upbeat, as Tom Selleck said ‘Who the hell is Indiana Jones anyway?’”

Related Post: Making Out with the Media: Brad Pitt is an Inglorious Bastard, and Other Stories

Another Variety article goes into a little detail about Warner Brothers’s non-plans for its DC Comics super-heroes: “Warners is readying to revamp how DC’s properties are developed — changes that could be announced within the next month.” Thanks, guys.

“We’re having a lot of internal discussions on it,” WB studio chief Alan Horn said. “We haven’t committed to any change at DC at this point,” and adds that Warner and DC are committed to turning “the properties into viable movie product in an intelligent way so that we introduce them like planes on a runway. They have to be set up the right way and lined up the right way and all take off one at a time and fly safe and fly straight.”

Production head Jeff Robinov gives us this word on the Justice League film: “We’re not off the notion of a Justice League. There’s a massive interest and knowledge in the comicbook (sic) industry and it takes time to sort of catch up and understand the characters and the history, where they’ve intersected with each other and what their worlds are. That’s part of the education that we’re going through.”

Notice that apparently JLA isn’t back from the dead after all, and that there’s no mention about the rumors that “George Miller has been pulled off [JLA]” or whether “execs over at Warner Bros. would like Miller to take over the Green Lantern project from Greg Berlanti,” as “broken” by IESB recently. (It smacked of BS to me, or I’d have mentioned it.)

As for Batman:

There’s a deal for the director to helm a third pic, but he has yet to decide on whether to tackle it yet.

“We have no idea where Chris is going with this,” Horn says. “We haven’t had any conversations with him about it.”

I think until we got some proper news, I’m gonna lay off this story. ‘Cause frankly, it’s boring.

Related Post: Cry, fanboy, cry: Justice League is back from the dead, Warner and DC talk about doing… something… maybe…

Stardust and Layer Cake director is moving ahead with his independently-financed $30 million adaptation of Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.’s Kick-Ass, casting Chloe Moretz for the film and potentially Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad, Role Models), as well.

Moretz’s character… is a ferocious, potty-mouthed 11-year-old who chops down crime thugs with a ninja sword. Mintz-Plasse will play the Red Mist, the angry teen son of a mobster who tries to uncover Kick-Ass’ identity.

The lead role is not yet cast. (Source: The Hollywood Reporter)

HR also brings us an casting update on Mel Gibson’s return to acting, in Casino Royale director Martin Campbell’s Edge of Darkness. William Monahan (The Departed) and Andrew Bovell’s script “centers on a veteran cop (Gibson) whose only grown-up child (Bojana Novakovic) is murdered on the steps of his home. The cop unearths his daughter’s secret life and discovers a world of corporate cover-ups and government collusion.” The Proposition’s Danny Huston will play a shady businessman while Shawn Roberts has signed on as the daughter’s distraught boyfriend and Robert De Niro has a presumably minor role as a CIA cleaner.

And, finally(?) for today, HR also breaks the news that the always-amazing Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote) may be taking a turn behind the camera for Little Miss Sunshine producers Big Beach Films, with Jack Goes Boating. A seasoned theater director, Hoffman is developing the project, which is based on Bob Glaudini’s off-Broadway play, in which the title character is “a stoner limo driver who embarks on such quixotic missions as cooking and swimming lessons, and his unlikely relationship with another lovable loser.”

Update (8/17): Ah, I had missed the news of DeNiro’s joining Edge of Darkness. (Variety reported he was in “near a deal” earlier this month.)

Related Posts: Trailer Watch: Role Models; Mel Gibson returns with Edge of Darkness

Oh sure… of the four buzz-worthy actors who are in talks to star in Quentin Tarantino’s WWII film Inglorious Bastards, the one that gets signed next is none of them, but instead Canadian comedic actor Mike Myers, according to Variety.

Listen, I used to like Mike Myers films. Laughed my butt off during the first Austin Powers movie, and for some strange reason, my sister and I watched and re-watched the first Wayne’s World movie. Now that I think about it, I think the main reason why I watched the it so often was because of Tia Carrere’s performance as a sexy, no-nonsense, punk-rock star. It’s hard to find female role models on the big screen when you’re ethnically Filipino, you know? But after having seen the second Austin Powers movie three times and becoming bored of his schtick, the bloom faded quickly from the rose, I was no longer a fan and therefore, I don’t buy this casting.

My problem with Mike Myers is that I can’t see him playing anything straight. See, Jim Carrey’s a great comedic actor, but he does know when to stop and he does have the chops to do more serious roles (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, anyone?). I can believe someone like him in a serious role because he’s proven that he can do it. However, I can’t see Myers being able to rein anything in without a Scottish accent (because he is remarkably restrained in the Shrek movies), and even worse, I don’t want to imagine Tarantino doing a WWII movie with a silly British general because it’s going to make me think of either Peter Sellers or Graham Chapman too much and then I’ll get sad.

Steve Carrell, Tina Fey Going Out on a Date
I’ve recently become a fan of “30 Rock” thanks to Hulu.com and my very weird work schedule, so I couldn’t help but grin a little when I read in Variety that Tina Fey and Steve Carrell will be in a comedy called Date Night from 20th Century Fox. The movie’s about a couple who starts out on an average date but it quickly turns into something that will probably be described by critics as “zany” and “wild.” The movie will be directed by Shawn Levy (Night at the Museum) who told reporters that he wanted this movie to be his next assignment from the studio.

Former Subway Worker, College Student Makes Good in Creating Brooklyn’s Finest
Admittedly, I’m going to be a little biased about stories in the New York Times because it’s my local newspaper of choice and it’s the standard to which I hold a lot of journalists (though that’s changing due to the weirdness that is newspaper conglomerations). Reading this story about first-time screenwriter Michael C. Martin, an almost-degreed film student from Brooklyn who got second prize in a screenwriting competition while he was recovering from an accident that totaled his car, and then parlayed that into a movie deal for Brooklyn’s Finest (starring Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, and Ethan Hawke, and directed by Antoine Fuqua [Training Day]) makes me feel a little better about the world and my place in it as a freelance writer.

It’s worth it to note that the difference between this piece and the Hollywood Reporter piece on another first-time screenwriter is how Martin’s path seems to be more accessible by the average person, whereas the HR piece pushes you away by mentioning its subject’s maneuvering within the system. Anyone can enter a contest, and anyone can go to film school to get the training and basics down for writing a screenplay. In contrast, no one’s exactly sure what one needs to do to be assigned as an assistant to a major screenwriter, and that kind of job is something you achieve after lots of networking and being exactly in the right place at the right time.

Valkyrie isn’t the only movie shifting release dates this week. As the Bryan Singer/Tom Cruise WW2 pic moves into the Christmas holiday, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has been delayed almost eight months, until July 17, 2009, from its previous date of November 21. The new date places it opposite Universal Pictures’ Land of the Lost starring Will Ferrell.

According to Coming Soon, Warner Bros. explained that the move was due to “repercussions of the writers’ strike, which impacted the readiness of scripts for other films — changing the competitive landscape for 2009 and offering new windows of opportunity that we wanted to take advantage of. We agreed the best strategy was to move Half-Blood Prince to July, where it perfectly fills the gap for a major tent pole release for mid-summer.” I call bullshit; I blame Voldemort.

Disney has quickly capitalized on the new Potter date by shifting its CG animated flick Bolt up five days to November 21.

Update (8/16/08): Screening Log reports that the Twilight adaptation has jumped back from December 12 to November 21 to help fill the Potter void, as well. Bolt undoubtedly skews a little younger than Twilight (and probably Potter, too), but chance are the two films will split the weekend.

Related Posts: Disney and Pixar’s upcoming animated films